


Secrets

by LordofLezzies



Series: How Derek Found Out [14]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 18:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordofLezzies/pseuds/LordofLezzies
Summary: Addison has been keeping something from Derek set after 3x7





	Secrets

Nancy had told him that Addison was keeping something from him, so when he spotted his ex-wife kissing Meredith under a shared umbrella in the hospital parking lot he assumed that, that was what his sister had meant. Luckily for him the kissing couple hadn't noticed him and he had a chance to process the scene he had witnessed before confronting his ex-wife. The following day he found himself alone with the redhead in an elevator and he took advantage of the situation by hitting the emergency stop button causing the woman to eye him curiously. He wasn't sure how he wanted to approach the subject but decided it was best to be blunt.

"When you had Meredith bring me the divorce papers, I never imagined that it was because you were screwing her." She shot him an amused, but puzzled expression before choosing her words with the hint of amusement.

"What on earth gave you such an absurd idea?" Sure she had grown closer to the blonde over the past few weeks, but they had only just shared their first kiss the night before.

"You've been staying with her since the divorce, she's been babying you, not to mention the fact that you practically had your tongue down her throat in the parking lot last night," She cut him off before he could continue.

"You saw that?" She gasped suddenly looking flush.

"Yes I saw that! And Nancy said you were keeping something from me," Addison cut him off again.

"Your sister needs to mind her own damn business," Addison bit back, her voice raised as her face grew red with anger. The other Shepherd had been insistent about Addison talking to her brother, but the redhead wasn’t ready and she didn’t think her ex-sister-in-law had the right, to tell Derek. Addison was furious.

"It's not her business that I married a cheating bitch?"

"You divorced the adulterous bitch, and let's not pretend like you're Mr. Innocent, we were still married when you were out here doing God only knows what with Meredith, and how long did you wait after signing the divorce papers before banging the first woman you saw? 20 minutes?" Addison screeched. "If being married to me was so awful why didn't you just sign the papers the first time?"

"Because I loved you, I still love you!" He yelled back, startling her. "Why can't you just tell me the truth?" His tone had softened and while the sudden gentleness had startled her, it also had a soothing effect.

"Because I don't want to hurt you." Her words were much softer now that they were finally being honest with one another.

"What do you think you're doing now, by not telling me, by being with Meredith?" He whispered.

"Last night," Addison began with a weak smile. "That was our first kiss, it just, it felt so right, so perfect," She whispered tears sliding down her cheeks as she continued. "I don't have to be anything except me for Meredith, I don't have to be strong," She choked. "Meredith has just, she's been taking care of me, so don't, don't make me tell you, just let it be Derek, just let me fall for Meredith."

"Addison Montgomery can take care of herself." Derek responded softly causing the redhead to shake her head furiously in disagreement. "Why do you need Meredith to take care of you?" He asked once he realized that his usually strong and confident ex-wife had let her guard down. She almost always put on a brave face, but there were times when she desperately needed someone else, and he understood that this was one of those times.

"Because, because she found me," Addison began, fresh tears falling from sad gray eyes. Derek stared at her expectantly and waited for her to continue. "I, before the prom I had a miscarriage." Suddenly Derek understood what his sister had meant. "I asked Meredith to have you sign the divorce papers ."

"You could have told me, I would have," He tried, but the redhead didn't let him continue.

"I couldn't," Addison sobbed. "Nancy said you deserved to know, but I couldn't, I couldn't do it again, not after the first time." Addison gasped for breath as she tried to calm herself. "I wouldn't have wanted you to feel obligated to take care of me. Meredith does it because that’s the kind of person that she is, and I feel safe and cherished when I'm with her. I don't have to pretend that it doesn't hurt. After everything Meredith took me home and held me while I cried on her and she stroked my hair and there were no expectations. She told me that I should tell you, but not to rush, that I would tell you when I was ready." Derek simply nodded and pulled the redhead against him, holding her tight in his arms. "I didn't want to tell you Derek, after the first time," She sobbed. 

They had both experienced great joy when they found out that she was pregnant. Addison would never forget Derek excitedly yelling that they were going to have a baby after three positive pregnancy tests. She'd always remember that stupid smile he'd worn when he placed his hand on her abdomen that first time and whispered, "Our baby is growing in there." They had been so happy when they found out, but their happiness had been sort lived, and when Addison lost the baby they had both coped differently. Addison had cried until she couldn't cry anymore and while Derek had been there for her while she recovered from the accident that had caused her to miscarry, he hadn't really been there, and as soon as she was physically okay he threw himself into his work until he couldn't work anymore and he finally broke down in his wife's arms. The experience had broken him and she couldn't do that to him again.

"Nancy knew when it happened again. I couldn't tell you, when we," She sobbed. "I lost you too, and we were just getting back to normal and I couldn't lose you again. I just wanted to protect you Derek," Addison whispered. Her voice shook as she trailed off and Derek wrapped his arm around her and she leaned against his shoulder. They stood there leaning against one another in silence for a few minutes before Addison turned to look at him. His eyes were filled with unshed tears and Addison hated seeing those usually happy blue eyes look so sad. "I know I screwed up and I know it sounds silly, but I never wanted to hurt you, I didn't want you to hurt."

"I know," Derek responded softly. He swallowed hard and tried to blink back the tears he'd been holding back, but one escaped and slid down his cheek. "It will all be okay, maybe not now, but it'll be okay, we'll be okay," He sobbed. His tears were freely falling as he spoke. He could no longer hold them back and Addison cupped his cheek while brushing a tear away with the pad of her thumb. "It means a lot that you would, that you were trying to protect me, that's the woman I married," He whispered cracking a smile. "I'm always going to love you Addie."

"I'm always going to love you too Derek." The pair stood silently together and once their breathing had returned to normal Addison began to fidget nervously. "Meredith," She began to say but Derek quickly cut her off.

"Snores like a grizzly bear," He finished with a grin causing his ex-wife to chuckle.

"I know but as crazy as it sounds when we're together I feel like her little cub, like she'll keep me safe no matter what." Derek didn't think she was crazy and the next time he saw them together he knew the redhead had been right. Addison would always be safe in Meredith's care, and though he loved them both it made him happy to see them happy.


End file.
